My life so far...

Hey! How's things going so far?

Whatever it is, keep up the positive vibe! I am sure you would do good!

I am going to talk a little about my life, bear with me for a moment.

I have been living a rather comfortable life compared to others. I have food to eat, place to stay, shirt to wear, clean water to drink, I am not sick throughout the year, I have plenty of friends and of course, I have great parents that always got my back ( I never really been into anything serious though).

These days I feel that I am living in a comfort zone. I became lazy, I have no aim in life, nothing to achieve, take almost nothing seriously, and worst, I have no determination to finish most of the things that I have started.

It is really a turning point (I wish) in my life as I saw most of my friends are heading towards success in their life and I am stuck at a point where I still wander aimlessly on what I am going to do in my future. 

By looking at their achievement, two feelings hit me:

1. I feel great to have successful friends around me, certainly proud to tell people when they are amazed what my friends could do that "Hey, s/he is my friend!"

2. To be honest, deep down, I feel inferior. I really want to be at the same level as them.

Therefore, I thought that I need to change my current self.

Somehow, there are always these "Buts" in my life.

"I want have Baskin Robbins ice-creams, but I don't have the money."

"I can come out, but I am lazy."

"I want to pick up Korean language, but I have no time."

I realize those are excuses that I always come up with to comfort myself for not doing my priorities or desire. I told myself that I have to change ever since I was 15 years old. Well, I had sort of procrastinate that too. 

I do hope my "Buts" are those good "Buts". They say people can't change you unless you are willingly change yourself.

I don't want to live a life where I just wake up, go to work, eat and sleep.

I want to inspire someone, I want to be someone, I want to make a change for good cause, I want to live the opportunity given to me. 

It is such a shame that I have wasted most of my time by doing nothing, playing online games (still trying to quit this addiction), and many others that I could not remember. 

I am having problems with my memories. I often forget to do things, forget this and that, made my life miserable. Probably because my addiction to online computer games and also all day long facing my phone by using social media. I am slowly changing in this issue, using my phone lesser day by day.

What should I do to achieve what I desire? Where to start? When to start?

I asked myself a lot. Asking questions that sometimes I could not even give a perfect answer for it. Why did I do that? What have I not done yet? Why do I feel sad? Where is my determination?

I think the problem with me is that I am asking the wrong questions to myself. Maybe I should just answer without questioning.

"I need to change! I have to change! I want to change!"

I wonder is there even a right way to live in life.

So far, what I have done is just coming up with a list of 100 things that I want to do as long as I live and still searching pathways towards success.

At least now, I roughly know what I want to work as in future. I know there are no guarantees in futures, but that's the fun of living right?

I value your opinion, feel free to comment if there is any! 

Share your stories too! Comment your link and I would read yours! I really love to know how different individual talk about their life.

Good luck for your future undertakings dear readers! 

Cheers, 

Synonym96