Road to Success

You never know till you tried.

A common idiom that prompt people who are reluctant to try something they are unfamiliar with, to step out of their comfort zone, gaining new experiences. Reality is harsh as success does not come randomly knocking on our doorsteps. What is success anyways? It is determined by the individuals.

Darkness was never my friend to begin with, but this particular road made me change my perspectives. It is the shortcut that parents would forbidden you to cross at night, friends would advise not to use it to go home and you might think I am crazy to cycle on this road during midnight. I would refer it as the shortcut due to nobody knew its name, and majority is unaware of its existences.

It has significantly shortened the distance from the west town to the east town of Kampar compared to the main road. The downside of this road is bumpy passage full of rocks, used furniture are abandoned at its sideways, often clogged with water in its holes after the rain which caused major difficulties for any vehicles, and worst of all, it is not equipped with a single street light. 

My first night encounter with the shortcut happened after I finished meeting with friends in the west town. I stood at the last street lights before entering the shortcut, contemplating whether I should just head back and sleep in my friends' place or to venture this pitch black, god knows what is waiting for me. 

I was shivering as cold air breezed across my spine, also adding an excuse to cover up my fear. I slurped my saliva and embarked my journey in the depth of darkness. I cycled slowly as the sound of different creatures that I am unable to identify vibrates in my eardrum. The road seems to be endless in the dark until I saw little yellow fiery lights ahead. Assumed it was ghost, I was terrified till I was unable to even scream. I stood in the dark, rocky road for a moment till I realized those are fireflies. 

I have never seen fireflies besides from pictures and I ran out of words discovering these little hopes. Beautiful would be an understatement to describe them. I stood awhile to admire their beauty of light, I never thought it would be so appealing and it was really an eye opener. Caught an firefly with both of my bare hands and got a closer look at it. Amazing, its body is 1 cm but the fiery light of it only a tiny part at the back of its body. It is a vulnerable bug as it flies in a rather slow pace, it was easy for me to reach out for them without effort. Then I remembered that I have to continue my journey back. 

I then reached to a small slope that look like slide, but it was filled with certain amount of stones and rocks as if it was provoking me to "pass if you can". To be safe, I got down from my bicycle and push it along side and concentrate my attention on making my way down. As much as I wanted to get out from the shortcut as quickly as possible, I did not want to risk any injuries here. Walking down the 45 degree slope was a challenge, but walking together with the bicycle brought it to next level. 

Moments later, I almost slipped but in the midst of trying to regain my balance, I had glance of dim scene. I raised my head and look ahead and above of me, and discover a magnificent view of midnight scene where the moonlight did not entire shine like how the sun does, covering the entire shortcut pathway. It was like an artwork of the universe. The mixture of dim yellow light fused with the contrasts of black, emitting explainable peaceful vibe caught me off attention. 

Plenty rumors saying that the shortcut was haunted, but it did not stop me from using it even it was 3 o'clock in the morning. That is the shortest way back and it was not as creepy as they said. Occasionally, I would leave my bicycle and walk my way to the town but often there will be passerby would offer me a ride, that of course it is during the day. You would find that so much kindness are filled in the road despite on how it looks. 

The discovery of this unpopular shortcut happened when I was heading to one of my friend's house then passed by its entrance, never thought it would be a life changing path that enable me to overcome my fear. Many memories made there although you might thought "what is so special with just a road?" Even though I am grateful to have it as a part of my life, I do hope it would be upgraded by the local authorities. At least, lay a tar road for the convenience of town folks. I fell from my bike due to the bumpy road and caught myself with bruises, but it hit me that there are ups and downs in life too as we need to learn to get back up on our feet and continue our journey.  

Tips of Affirmation

It is always easier to spend than to earn. While I am studying, I have worked plenty part time jobs as barista, retail assistant, data entry typist, freelance events and etc. All these job are to gain different experiences and mostly importantly, a side income for me to spend ( I am a full time undergrad).

As I was working as a waiter in a fully packed cafe whereby customers are willing to wait for at least 30 minutes to get a decent place in the cafe, I came across a group of friends who at last got themselves a table to seat. What happened was they requested for a jug of plain water so they would not need us waiter to serve them as all the waiters are extremely busy. I told them unfortunately our cafe does not have sufficient jugs but I will be there serving them. Twice they ask me to refill their cups and I did. I did it because it is part of my job. I smiled and asked them whether they liked the food, and turns out they love it!

As I am heading back to the bar, I saw their cups are empty, so I took the jug of water, and went to their table. Coincidently, one of they raised her cup to a waitress, indicates her to refill the cup. And that is when I took the cup from her, and refill it on the spot. I also refill others'. They thanked me and asked for my name.

When they rise up from their seat and were about to leave, I headed to their table, ready to collect the dishes. When I reached their table, they requested me to take pictures for them (The cafe I worked in is a photo worthy cafe that most customers came for its attraction). I agreed to help them but I did mention that my photography skills are bad. They said don't mind.

When we went out of they cafe, they started asking me casual questions as if we just met and making friends. Where am I studying, what do I study, what my course does so on and so forth. I answered all the questions but I did not ask any in return. I mentioned that this is my first day working in the cafe and they were amazed. Then we felt rain drops hitting on us and two of their friends are still in the cafe. Ended up I did not take pictures for them, they told me to continue with my work. I smiled and as I am about to leave, one of them passed me a tissue paper with some writings on.

"Here's a tips for you," she said. I did not know what to do but instantly I took the tissue and kept it in my pocket. I thought it was just words so, I thanked her without even looking at those words. "There's money inside," she said with a smile. I was shocked. I took out the tissue, flip it open and I am really surprised to find a RM 10 in it. I thanked her again and went off continued my work. I was so happy the entire day. I feel affirmed by this tips.

There are many reason to be happy with it even though it was RM10 (you might think it is a small amount). One, I only getting RM 70 working from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. (working time ends at 7p.m. but it was so busy that I missed my break time, eventually I requested to go an hour earlier). It is considered a low pay but I have no choice as I could not find a better pay job. Secondly, RM 10 is a lot for a student like me. I could get 2 meals with it, or even better, 3 meals. The best was the affirmation given by a stranger, worth more than a RM 10. I learned that happiness really could come in many forms. What is your form of happiness? Share on the comment below!

What Is Your Selling Point?

What makes me different from others? 

I often asked myself. I could not figure the right answer. What I thought I am are often compared with others. "You said you are a patient person, a quick learner and have no problem talking to strangers. Well, I am as well, how are you different from me?" they would shoot right back at me and instantly, I am out of words.

It had me thinking, a lot. What is it in me that others do not have? What makes me special? Who am I? What had I achieved that others did not?

There are many things that I could do so do others but some they could even do things I could not. Being an overthinker and an indecisive person, I realized that I am not competing with others but myself. I had gone through much thinking and made my decision.

My selling point would be, I can capture people's attention by sharing my experiences and thoughts with them. I am a great listener too, whereby people come to me when they needed an ear. I am a person who hopes to inspire others with my words that they never give up in their life. 

They say people with much problems give the best advice, and I agree with that.

The Cruise Part I

Going to camps are fun times that I would participate even though no friends would join with me. I went through various leadership and religious camps that I had lost count. Each of it had taught me about how easy and difficult it is in life but the cruise had stuck in my head and I doubt the memory of it would fade, at all. 3 days 2 nights of pre-departure camp and 10 days onboard. I never imagined cruises are all fun.

It all happened when I did not concentrate on my mother's words. She asked me if I would want to try out a 14 days camp that involved sailboat. Hell yeah, I agreed without thinking further (as I always look forward to joining camps), sign myself up without reading carefully the registration form and I am off to Lumut, Perak.

Upon arriving, 16 of us (other participants including my younger brother) aboard a double-decker bus with full blast air conditioner. The whole bus was just for us, we even get to pick where we wanted to sit, running around on the bus playing chase are not an issue. Excitement filled me and it got me picturing the cruise, the food, the sea breeze and many others that you might think of. We stopped by Taiping youth centre to pick up the remaining participants, making a total of 24 participants, 18 male and 6 female teenagers then off we went to our destination, where our pre-departure camp held.

When my right foot stepped on the muddy ground, I am speechless. So speechless that I had to throw away my imagination towards this camp. Two shipping containers appear to be right under a roof where it covers a space enough to fit at least 40 people, with the sound of the river flowing at East. Toilets were located near the river beside the river, behind a house that used solely for cooking. I calmed myself, convinced that it would be a wonderful camp but at that split moment, I was shouted for daydreaming. I was summoned to eat together with people who seem like they had anger management issues and of course, with other participants. 

The food was manageable. It was superb spicy mee hoon with fried fish ala Malay style. It took me awhile as I am not a fan of spiciness. Before I finished my meal, I was summoned to the space which then called hall A, and of course, by summoned, meant being shouted. 

An icebreaking session was conducted by the officer. Pardon me, I only could recall their faces. Coolest icebreaking session ever as all of us, stand in a circle, shout out our name, where we are from and how old are we just once, then we have to memorize the others details. Those who unable to remember the other 23 members names would have to do 1 push up per person. I did a hundred at least and yes, right after my meal. "Stay contented, it could have been worse," I told myself. Maybe the fun part comes later, convincing myself while looking at other participants making fun and laughing at each other's mistakes, doing many push-ups. Not a great session I would say but at least it got us all memorizing the names of each and every participant including the officer's name that I have long forgotten.

Next, was grouping session and shoving the leftovers from lunch into a full belly. Dead serious. The reason why they insist us to finish our food is that the cruise apparently might not have sufficient food for each and everyone as it is a 10 days voyage. Feeling stuffed, the leftover spicy mee hoon were then shoved into our mouth by a shared spoon (yes, it is dreadful to have that) with other participants. Yuck is all I could think off but we were observed by the officers, and somewhat I could tell that I would be in trouble if I do not consume that remaining food.

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To be continue.

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Synonym96

13 November 2018

Confronting people

When a problem occurs between you and others,
would you prefer to run a way,
or to face them,
noting the problem that occurs between you and them.

To lead a team as a deputy director,
it is not easy to satisfy everyone.
Problem occurs between people.
Some due to work not done in time,
Some due to work is imperfect,
Some due to attitude.

We had a small sharing session within department,
we want them to clear the barriers among themselves.
The session seems to end well,
but does it?
It depends.
The outcome could be seen by this upcoming months.
Whether it is good or bad.
I hope it turns out to be good,
or else the session would be a waste of time.

People always think themselves are right
and others are wrong.
Things sometimes does not work that way,
people could not see faults in themselves,
others does.
It is hard to accept criticisms but these are the words
that helps us grow.

Some are just personal grudge,
which cannot be change.
But what to do?
Life sometimes could be contradicting too.

When you know you should stop, but you don't want to

Is it due to the cravings of someone's presents in your life or is it you being ignorance?
Would you do something that hurts you even you love it?
Would you make decisions, do you use your brain or your heart?
Can everything just stop when you said stop?
Will someone tell you that you are stupid when you did something really stupid?
Can someone be friend and enemy at the same time?
Is life complicated or is it us that are making life complicated?
Is it okay to leave everything behind and start over new?
Can we be dead for awhile?
Apart of me wants to survive, apart doesn't.
Whats the point of holding on and yet unable to let go?

The paradoxical person

Hey, been busy nowadays with assignments and stuff. Have not been able to update here but here I am now, having the motivation to write again.

Recently I have been leading two assignments groups whereby both assignments required us to do role play. I found myself being contradict in my ideas and also in deciding the suggested ideas from my group mates.

I personally think that paradoxical person are creative people and they pursue perfection in things or in their work. Well, I am not as such as my attitude itself is contradicting with each other. Sometimes people perceive me as someone who is unpredictable. Sometimes I am easy to be predicted. I am referring on simple things. A simple example which is having meals, whether to have meals with friends or not to. I like having meals with friends and I like to have meals alone too. Hence I always have to come up with a decision. Even when the decision is set, I might change my mind when I think the other idea is better than the initial ones.

Paradox really helps in coming up with numerous ideas, as one idea improvised from the other. But it is really a burden when it comes to decision making. I want to be someone who is firm in the decisions I made but every time I would have fail as I always think that the grass is greener on the other side.

I bet most of us have slight issue with paradox but in my opinion, those who counters it and focus on their goals and aim, are those who are successful in what they do.

I do not plan to change myself as I somewhat would turn the plan down anyways, I will just go with the flow and continue living.

Thanks for reading my rant.
Just want to write for no reason.

Synonym96

Friend

Good day, it has been very busy for me to update my blog but here I am now.

Have your day been great so far?
Do not give up or be sad if it is not. Always believe that it will all goes well.

Recently I received a question of what is a friend from a friend that I used to be close with but there are some issues with her caused me to avoid her.

What is a friend to you? Someone that shares the same dream as you? Someone that laughs with you?Someone that could back you up when you are in trouble? Someone that criticize you? Someone that humiliates you as a joke?

To me, friends are people that appear in our life and go away after a period of time. Some friends are destined to be Hi and Bye kind of friends. Some friends would be the ones that worth your time and your sacrifices. I think that friendship are like relationship, it involves two way communication. Without the right communication, the friendship would shatter. Acceptance is the key. Give and take.

Probably the Hi and Bye kind of friends are supposed to be called acquaintance but the number of times you met this person, somehow you cannot take them as acquaintance. Probably you take someone as a friend but he or she does not take it that way. Yes, it is really sad to have that kind of feeling but I think that probably we should take this opportunity to find out why he or she does not take us as friend when we took him or her as one. This might help to improve the bond, not to mention, ourselves.

People change. We cannot expect someone to be the same as the first day we met them. It depends if you can accept your friend's changes. If you cannot, try telling him or her, or change your perceptive. If both ways does not work, Hi and Bye friend is always an option.

Friends does not have to stick together always to be friends. I would consider someone whom I did not talk to for 4 or 5 years a friend. It is because the memories with them, is truly precious. Not to say that present is not, but sometimes things just don't go in our way.

I guess that is all up till today, I would update my blog as much as I could. Thank you for reading.
Before you go, try to have some thoughts on these question, something to think about.

What is your opinion on the word friend?
Who is your friends?
Who is your real friends?
What is real friends to you?
Would your friends agree to lend you money as much as 5k when you are in trouble?
Would your friends talk bad behind you?
Would you friends talk bad in your face, pointing your weakness to you?
Would your friends share their secrets with you?
Would your friends come out in the middle of the night just to listen to your stories?

Hope you know who are your friends.
These are my opinions, there are no rights or wrong in the content.
Hope you like my posts.

19/6/2017
synonym96

Life is a lesson

Life indeed is a lesson,
We fall, we need to learn to stand back up.
Nothing could guarantee that we would not fall again,
Only you could choose,
Whether to stand up,
Embrace the next challenges coming right at you,
Or, continue to stay put
In your very own comfort zone.

While pain, sadness and regrets,
There would not be gain, happiness and experience.
It is okay to have these negativity in us,
Do not keep it for to long,
Change it, accept it, turn it into
Hope, Faith and Glory.

Nothing could help us,
If we do not even want to help ourselves.
Take the leap,
Be brave,
Be confident,
Be enthusiastic,
Be nice,
As life,
Is full of surprises.

Synonym96
10 May 2017

Love, From You Both.

Hey there!

Doing good?

Fantastic! Hope you are having great time in your life!

What is love?

To me, love comes in many forms. Love from parents, siblings, partner, colleague, friends, strangers and even other beings.

Let's talk about parental love.

I don't know what kind of parental love you are having but let me share about mine.

Dad works alone as a mechanic. Working alone as a mechanic is not a simple task. Imagine carrying the heavy gear box with just some help of leverage, changing tires, thinking of solution to solve circuit problems and worse of all, if he has an accident (touch wood) it would take sometime for us to discover.

He would wake up and prepare breakfast for us. Almost every morning unless I woke up, he would ask me to do instead, which is also a rare occasion.

Just by preparing breakfast, he constantly did it since I was 7 years old. It has been 13 years yet he still preparing breakfast for us.

Before I wake up, breakfast is ready to serve. Even though it is just spread bread, I am always grateful to have my dad. I could say it is rare to see a father preparing breakfast before the sun even rise,

Mom on the other hand, gave up her career to full time taking care of us 3 kids. She could have hold a high salary job but instead she chose this path. She graduated in University Malaya, Malaysia's famous government university and she is a very smart lady.

When I was a teen, I always wondered why she chose this path, why she would sacrifice her career? If she did not chose this path we would have a very porch life and could travel around the world. I could have get whatever I wanted in life.

Sometimes she would say that she should go out to work but no one would want to hire her because of her age. Plus, she is the one who settles dad's company account. She did not take account during her study life. She learn from her friend, borrowed accounting book from her friend and studied it. That's how she picked up her accounting skills.

Dad has moody temper. Maybe because he is stress working alone and customers kept coming. 

Mom, I would say she lectures a lot. She could repeat things again, again and again. She also could not really take my dad's temper vice versa on dad for he lectures. Things are kept repeating though, can't blame her.

Well, nobody is perfect. Same goes to me. I need them. There is still many things in life that I still need their support. As time pass, I could see the wrinkles in them are growing, white hairs sprouting rapidly. Deep down, I am really afraid to lose them, but I am still hurting them everyday. I tried to behave as a child that they would wish for, I just unable to.

I feel that the more we love someone, the more we take advantage on them, the more we hurt them.

Every time my mom lectures me, I would feel annoyed. Either I kept quite or I tried to explain myself which clearly not effective, end up keeping quiet is the best way to stop her lectures. To be honest, her 95% of her lectures are right. It is just that I would not accept it.

She feels that the distance between us so close yet so far. I told her it is the generation gap. It hurts to see her feeling down. Her cries breaks me apart. Despite all these hurting that I cause to her, she never said that " I am regret to give birth to you."

Me on the other hand, always ask myself, why am I given birth into this family? I told myself I don't feel love. The truth is I do feel their love. They are emitting love in their way, not the way I wanted to receive, that's why some part of me refuse to accept their love.

My dad love us but never told us. He show us in a different way instead. I do remember when I was kid, they would beat me up if I did something that is not right, but at night, my dad would come to me, applying the Chinese medicine on the bruises. He would say sorry to me too for hitting me too hard.

Dad never want to cry in front of us. He kept his suffering to himself. I caught him crying once, he tried to hide his face and ask me go to sleep.

Mom always told me " You used to hug me every night and wish me good night, nowadays you didn't." Every time she says that, I would do what she wanted, then did not practice it. Mom would tell me that she love me, to enjoy my day, to drive safe, to come home have dinner, and many more.

Dad don't really says much. I don't recall when was the last "I love you" from dad. I also don't recall when was the last time I said that to my dad. "Wai, drive carefully." is already at his limit, but it was heart warming enough.

I would want to say "I love you dad" but somehow, I just can't. I don't even know why I could not do it.

What kind of experience that you had with your parents?

Are you grateful to have them in your life?

Do they have you backed up when you are in trouble?

Do you feel their love?

Do share with me!

Enjoy this moments with them! Happy, Sad, Anger are the emotions that bring us closer as a family.

Cheers,
Synonym96